I am a victim of incest and sexual assault myself. Because of these experiences I am committed to break through the taboes surrounding this topic. I aim to help other victims and assist them in taking this important step in getting help, so they can start healing from the pain. Then they can find out that the shame they feel about what happened to them is unnecessary. It’s painful and saddening…..I call it “the hell on earth”. There is a lot of information to be found on internet.
I could go into great detail about what happened to me and the consequences of my accosters terrible actions, but I choose to be concise to protect my family and their privacy.
I have suffered under the negative energy and reprehensible behaviour of a pedosexual from my earliest childhood. From the early age of 7, I was also raped by a friend of the family. He continued assaulting me untill the age of 11. I wasn’t able to speak about these horrendous experiences for years. They were my horrible secrets and I was full of shame, sadness, pain and unimaginable fear. I was finally able to speak to somebody about what had happened when I was 16 and I sought professional help when I was 17. When I was older I was assaulted on 5 different occasions, some of the culprits were my in-laws. I felt as though I was only surviving instead of living my life for a very long time. I was continuously fighting my demons.
All these occurrences have left deep wounds, because besides deep shame and mental and physical exhaustion I had to deal with PTSD, nightmares, selfneglect, burn-out, concentration problems, learning problems, depression and suicidal thoughts, frustration and fear of failure. As if this wasn’t enough I went through two postnatal depressions and disgust about my own body. Because of my fighting spirit, inner strength, family and friends and because I was able to get professional help, the only problems I still have are a lack of physical energy and bad nightmares every now and again.
I hope that my fellow victims, after reading this blog, can find the strength and courage to step out of their emotional prison and look for professional help. Go to your general practitioner, get online help, talk about what happened and don’t be ashamed or scared. Looking for help is the first step into the new light you deserve. A new beginning and a life free of shame and depression. What we should be giving each other in this life is support and love. Nobody can be completely freed from the pain caused by a history of incest and sexual abuse, but I am convinced that everyone including YOU can find a way to deal with what happened and lead a full and happy life.
If you suspect that someone in your surroundings is going through this or is suffering from the after effects of sexual abuse – offer them your hand, try to talk to them, take the time to listen and support them in finding professional help.
If you feel the need to talk to me about this or any other subject you are more than welcome in my practice.
Whishing you lots of Love and succes,
Leila
Photo: campaign against child abuse
